Dad’s first tests came sooner than we expected. On Saturday, he was taken by ambulance to the hospital and I knew, when they came to collect him for a CT scan, that they had seen something on his x-rays that wasn’t good. It really wasn’t good – the CT scan showed that he has pancreatic cancer that has already metastasized to his liver and chest cavity. The initial plan was to do a biopsy, but as we all adjusted to this unwelcome news, and learned more about the lack of any viable treatment options, he decided not to pursue any additional testing. He is now back at Woodcrest (an assisted living facility) with hospice care.
It has been a tough few days. Dad is taking this with grace and grit. So far, he has not experienced any pain, but he gets short of breath quite quickly when he’s up and moving, and he’s sleeping more than usual. Two of my brothers made visits while he was in the hospital, and the third will be arriving from Minnesota on Sunday. Betty’s kids have been wonderfully supportive too – we have a text thread with all seven of the “kids” on it, and have made good on a pledge we made to one another to always share information about our parents. I was lucky enough to have three siblings who I get along with so easily – it feels miraculous to suddenly get step siblings in my 50s and have it still feel like a cohesive team who are able to support our aging parents together.
It was good to see Dad back in the one-room home he has made with Betty at Woodcrest, wearing his own clothes this afternoon. The staff there has been wonderful – I know they truly care about them. This afternoon as I talked with the health services director, both of us got teary in a good way. My mother died at Woodcrest in 2017, in their memory care unit, and they were wonderful with her, too.
It’s hard and also somehow good for me to be staying in the home my parents built in the mid seventies, a place full of decades of family memories. I never lived here full time, but it was where we came for winter ski weekends and holidays when I was a teenager, and the scene of many family gatherings over the years after we kids had all left the nest, and they moved here full time.
The house faces west, and the sunsets have been lovely. My mother used to go out on the deck and bow to the sun as it set, loudly thanking it for another beautiful day. I have adopted her practice, even though I used to think it was kind of cheesy and embarrassing for HER to do it. Because at the end of the day, I am grateful above all else.
Daily Salvation 